Worry Wart

I found this on the Internet as a sermon illustration for "worry." I got a good laugh out of it and so I thought I would share it.

How you can tell when it's going to be a rotten day:

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard. You wake up and your braces are locked together. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your income tax check bounces. You put both contact lenses in the same eye. Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill", and your name is George.

Source Unknown.

Worry, of course, is no laughing matter because we usually worry about nothing. Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but you don't get anywhere. Jesus Christ taught a lot about worry, positive and negative. One should read Matthew 6:19-35 to see what he said!

Under Christ Our Lord

"I keep returning to this simple question: is Jesus Christ the Lord of the church, so that it submits to his teaching however unpalatable, or is the church the lord of Jesus Christ so that it manipulates his teaching in order to make it palatable? Will the church listen humbly and obediently to Jesus Christ, or will it behave like the brash adolescent it often seems to be, contradicting its master and putting him right where he has gone wrong? Is the church "over" or "under" Christ?

- John Stott, Life in Christ: A Guide for Daily Living